Wednesday, February 22, 2006

another speaking engagement

Street Medic training this weekend - that should be good. It's always good to get a chance to brush up on those skills. And always good to get to meet other radicals from the area! I'm really looking forward to it. I just am crossing my fingers and praying it will be drama-free.

I have no way to pay rent next month or any of my bills. I'm getting paid quite a bit, in late March, but until then I have no way of paying anything. I'm not sure what to do about that. I've been looking for a job, but no luck yet. Meh. I'm tired of the stressed-sick feeling that comes with worrying constantly about money.

I got an offer to speak next month at Boston College, and I'm really looking forward to that. I miss the East Coast, and I love the Boston area. And there are some people in the area who I really hope can make it to see me for the evening, cuz it would be awesome to hook up with them.

Not to mention how nice it will be to get paid. Somehow, getting paid for speaking feels kind of dirty to me, still. I didn't start doing this for money. I started doing this because of Shymmer, and Paul, and Remyremy, and all the other street kids I've known who've died senseless deaths, and all the other queer kids I've known whose parents have rejected them. I started doing it because I constantly saw the world closing its eyes and pretending this wasn't happen, I got sick of hearing people saying "No! Things like that couldn't happen here!" and most of all I got sick of people who had encountered it sitting back and doing nothing.

But now, it seems, I am someone worth paying to hear. Really, I don't feel even slightly guilty for taking money from colleges. But I certainly would not ever ask for money for speaking for non-profit orgs.

I've been losing time again, falling "asleep" and waking up hours, days, weeks later. I guess my life is still going on alright, in my absence. But it never ceases to be disconcerting.

2 Comments:

Anonymous VivixeN said...

Hey Verve,

I had no idea that you spoke to colleges and stuff... all I have to say is, after reading the last few entries of your blog, my already-burgeoning respect for you has increased tenfold.

As for the money... I know you're probably not looking for sympathy, but I must say I feel like it's a pretty extreme injustice for someone whose heart is in the right place to go through that kind of hardship. Could just be me... my dead idealist still likes to resurrect itself every now and again. :P (reference to popular quote about cynics)

Anyway, mostly, I'm just commenting cuz I kinda miss you on the forums! :) No, it's not because I crave your crits (which, by the way, I do, but that's not the point)... it's most because, even in the handful of posts you made, I dunno... I liked having you around.

In any case, yeah, I know we can be coarse and offensive and borderline... questionable in the quality of some of the things we say, but much of that is simply because we're just a giant family that never means any harm or foul.

Long story short, I miss you! :) And, again, I just wanted to thank you for taking the time to crit me... with a busy life like yours and what must be invites to over a dozen forums/websites, I can't tell you how much it means to me to have you even look at mine. :D

/end cheesiness, haha

Anyway, hope to see you again soon! My contact info's on the forum.

10:29 PM  
Blogger Mol said...

I speak at a lot of places, but I think I like colleges best; mostly because it's people my age and because if people get mobilized to be active from younger, they can get more accomplished, so I like that.

I'm working on more of your crit now ^_^ I would have had it done earlier, and I *meant* to have more done earlier, but I totally forgot that I was going to be gone all weekend, for three days of medic training. But now I am back and continuing with it. w00t!

4:46 PM  

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